Kids grow up.  I’ve always known they do that, but I still don’t want it to happen.  In my heart I want them to be the chubby faced little three year old forever.  But they will grow up whether mom wants them to or not.  Tonight Reagan went through one of those rites of passage that tell you your child is growing up.  He finished the sixth Harry Potter.  For those of you who have read this series, you will understand why that is significant.  To those who haven’t, all I can say is, Read the Book!  Reagan read until way past his bedtime but we let him because you can’t put a Harry Potter down in the last three chapters.  I knew it would be hard for him to read of Dumbledore’s demise, and so I nervously waited to see how he’d react.  I peeked in on him as he was reading and sure enough there were some sniffles and his cheeks and eyes were red.  And then I left him to finish, my heart breaking for him.  It was silly of me, to feel such anguish but I couldn’t help it.  This was the first time he’s read a book on his own in which one of the most beloved characters dies.  He really struggled when I read them Where the Red Fern Grows, and that’s a relatively short book.  He only had a few hundred pages to love those dogs.  But he’s been friends with Dumbledore for thousands of pages now. 

It’s hard to read about death.  Especially in our day and age where most kids don’t deal with it on a daily basis like they did hundreds of years ago.  It’s a hard thing, learning to deal with the harsh realities of life.  And for most kids today, one of the first times they do that is by losing a loved one in a book.  We’ve all felt that pain.  It changes you.  Matures you.  Tonight I had to relive that through the eyes and heart of my child.  He was very quiet when he came downstairs to say goodnight.  We just sat together hugging each other for a while.  He didn’t want to talk about it, which is significant for Reagan.  I told him that I cried when I read the book and I was an adult.  I don’t think that made him feel better.   He went to bed and I actually think he cried himself to sleep.  In the cover of darkness he could let his tears out onto his pillow.  Much better to do it that way than with Mom I guess.  I can’t wait for him to finish book #7 and experience the joy of triumph when Harry vanquishes his foes.  And knowing he will get that sweet reward almost makes tonight a little easier to bear.  But it’s still hard, this growing up. For moms too.